back to the beginning
2001-07-21 17:06:54 (UTC)

two in a row

Wow, two days in a row I'm writing here. At work again,
it's pretty slow. didn't do anything last night, of
course. I long to go out like the old days. I guess it's
a matter of settling down. I don't know whether to think
of myself as getting older or being a loser. But it's
difficult to go to the clubs now, almost married, halfway
between 20 & 30. It's not like I need to go to get
noticed. I guess I just need to accept that it's time to
start a new adventure in life. To be 21 again, even though
it wasn't that long ago for me it seems like forever. The
days when nothing mattered except going out every night and
staying out tile 5 am, meeting all kinds of new people,
having your phone ring off the hook and your email box
packed. Now it's just my mom on the phone or my sis in law
with stupid jokes in my email. whaa whaa! I read in
someone else's diary that when you start to think how bad
it is, think how bad others must have it. Makes me
grateful! I have so much yet I am so unhappy. Well, I
can't say that exactly, I am happy alot of the times. I
don't know, in reading this and my last posts, someone
would think I need to be institutionalized. Not the case
really. It's the way my brain works. The thought process
is unreal. guess i should go.