ruthemily

feeling useless

they stand on the landing, tearing at each others souls,
while i sit with a 4 year old on my lap, trying to stop his
tears, listening to his words, the basic brutal
truth...'they hit me'. what can i do? how can i console
him when i know myself that nothing anyone says can help?

dammit. i feel so fucking useless. i am sitting back and
watching him suffer as i suffered. i hate myself, loathe
every damn cell in this fat body of mine. i can't do
anything, nothing i say makes a damn bit of difference. i
should have learnt that by now.