hvnlyhottie13z journal
2002-09-08 07:05:22 (UTC)

yo dude, life sux booty

ok.... steven dnt like me... but i'll live, i mean, i knew
in my heart that he didn't like me and that he could never
like me the way he suposedly liked me last year... but i
cant help but pause and think... wow, it's all my fault. i
hate myself so much i was a bayday 2day and around midnight
me and my friends were about to leave and we're in the
parking garage thingi and we're just standing near the
ledge on the 4th floor lookin down and talking and shit and
i'm all away 4om everyone i just didnt' feel like talkin to
anyone.... so i avoided them the whole time i was
thinkin... to jump or not to jump.... i mean whats there
for me here? definately not any good friends the only
friend that i have that i know is always there for me is
kristen, i mean, in the beginning of the summer i was
totaly thinkin about killing myself and i seriously would
have too. but kristin was always there for me to talk to
but of course whenever i tell my other "friends" that they
all start to wonder if i'm gay... which i'm not... but it
really bugs the hell outta me. she's was there for me when
i was about to fuckin kill myself and whenever i try to
give her credit for it everyone turns on me like i'm some
kind of freak, now what in the world is up with that????
thats just wrong. i'm gunna have a sleepover 4 my b day
party and i'm inviting kristin no matter what the hell
anybody says to me they can just go to fucking hell for all
i care if they cant take one day out of a yr to help
celebrate my b day cause of one person they're not good
friends and they're too immature. man, i sure have changed
during the sumer... i wonder if thats for better or for
worse. oh well, who cares. lol congrats kristin ur in my
diary now!!!! man, i'm so tire i'm gunna go sleepiez cuz
itz 3:04 g'night ya allz hope i never wake up agen