camicazy

Meshed Up
2002-09-07 23:01:49 (UTC)

cutting

gonna make this a six-minute entry. wanted to start four
minutes ago but got distracted with some things so now i
only give myself six minutes to write.

someone said: 'i hope you're done with all your papers.
take care. and remember that a lot of people love you.'

good morning everyone. five more minutes and i better get
outta here.

found out that a certain girl is actually cutting herself.
and her logic was exactly the same as mine: the physical
pain takes away the emotional pain.

don't know what to think. don't know if i should be
concerned or see her as a pathetic little bitch because
unfortunately, this girl who cuts herself is the same
person i was bitching about in my other entries. the girl
who's mean and cold hearted and horny but tries to portray
herself as someone nice and smart.

2 more minutes. either i type really slowly or my mind's
still kicking in from the state of sleepiness.

one thing i've realized: cutting yourself won't help you in
any way. perhaps it will get people to notice you (maybe
that's what she's doing...getting the guy that she likes to
notice her) but aside from that, there's nothing else that
you can get from it.

but maybe that's all she wants. all she wants is to have
him hug her and tell her that everything's okay. all she
wants is for him to notice her and talk to her and perhaps
fall in love with her.

it's just so silly. she's so old already: 22 i think? why
on earth is she still so..immature when it comes to these
things?

went out to a 'party' last week and the people there were
in their late twenties. when we started talking, i couldn't
help but think that they still seem so young...as if they
were only 18 and 19. they were all still so unstable.
so...immature i suppose. it's as if we were all on the same
wavelength.

shit. it's been 4 minutes. i gotta run. till the enxt entry.