Reality Bites
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2002-09-07 21:01:26 (UTC)

wow last night

Last night was extreemly bad and extreemly good. I went to
my friend Resse's before the dance to get ready with a
bunch of people because Kate's house was not big enough for
Jesse's friends and hers. That part was fun. Everyone
looked really cute, the prep time really paid off, I'd
venture to say we all collectively have never looked that
good. I even thought I looked pretty except for looking
fat. So we all piled into cars and first went to eat
somewhere (me and Lucy didn't eat but the rest of them did)
because we wanted to be what Carson calls "fasionably late"

So once we got to the dance there was hella people there
and the first 2 hrs. were really fun. All the guys were so
wasted which was funny, but also annoying cause they were
all over the all of us-more than usual. So for the first 2
hrs, everything was great right? Anyone remember Eddie from
last year? He left the school mid-year but he's back now. I
thought he was the hottest thing ever at the time, but now-
not so much. He followed me around the whole night last
night and it got really really annoying. It really got to
me after a couple hours and I didnt know how to ditch him
so Mia and I went outside and just chilled for awhile with
our friends J.T. and Marc. Well Marc used to like me and I
didnt like him but we remained friends after cause I
thought he was cool with it. Mia and J.T. were like giving
eachother massages and getting a little close and I dont
know what happened but Marc decides to do the same and he
totally puts his arm around me and starts kissing me! Of
course I pushed him away but once I did, I looked up and
saw Luke staring at me. I was like oh shit.

After that I realized I had been paying no attention to
Luke and all of a sudden I was really upset. I had made
good eye contact with him a couple times, but other than
that-nothing. Every time we looked at each other the look
was "I want to be with you" but I think we both just were
so nervous and just so didnt know what to do. His friends
like me alot and my friends love him but it was the first
time that we'd been in a situation that everybody was
together and we had no clue what the other one wanted. My
friends had all been telling him to dance with me and go
hang out with me but he said he couldn't find me and
whenever he did I was dancing with someone already-which
was true, but not because I wanted to, its cause he wasnt
around. So he went inside after seeing the whole scene w/
Marc-pissed no doubt and I stayed outside and made Marc
leave, and Mia told J.T. to go inside too. Mia and I talked
for an hour and I was planning on leaving and saying I was
sick but she begged me to stay with her so I did. We went
inside the dance again when there was 5 minutes left. I
stood by her staring at the clock and she went crazy
dancing with a bunch of people--actually they were Luke's
friends. So I'm standing there not dancing and I look over
and Luke isn't either, but all his friends are. We both
look so unhappy. Then that song ends and the DJ announces
the last song. I see Luke bust through the crowd and it
looks like he's going to leave. So I turn to Mia and go "I
want to go home NOW" and I no sooner get the sentence out
but I feel Luke's hand on my shoulder and pull me into him.
We didn't say anything the whole time, it was that intense.
I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. I just felt
safe for the first time in a long time. When the song ended
we still stood there while everyone left, just holding each
other, and finally we were the only ones left. I had to
wait for Alyssa cause we were going to go to parties
together after, so Luke left to get a ride with his
friends. When Alyssa was done, Luke and his friends were
waiting for rides but he came and asked if I could drive
him home-he wasnt in a party mood. Of course I did and I
think we were both just so emotionally drained that we said
we'd talk about everything today instead of re-hashing it
all then, plus we were coming off that intense moment
too...So that's that. Today I'm going to admit my feelings
to him to make it clear and we'll see what happens. I'll
either be greatly happy or sad in my next entry.