peppermint

My Personal struggle
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2001-07-21 04:07:39 (UTC)

The Start of my test

I meet Shane when i was 18 and feel in love with how cute
he was. It was a rough start as for 6 months we lived a
fair way apart, but our love grew and we saw each other as
much as possible. I feel in love with Shane and he made me
feel worth while, that was until i started to notice how
much he flirted with others, at first i didnt saw anything
as i always thought i was so lucky to have him.

We broke up on several occasions, and he went and had other
girlfriends but always returned to me.

After 3 years of dating we got engaged, i was so very
happy,
then at 22 i was having problems with my menstartion cycle
and was addmited to hospital to have minor surgery , it was
found that i had cysts on my ovaries, i was told that if we
wanted children fertility treatment would be our only
chance. I was devestated.
Then low and behold, four months after being told this and
not long after my 23 birthday i found out i was pregnant.
As you can imagine i was over the moon.

My life changed, i started to organise my wedding, i wanted
to have the same surname as our baby, so at 5 and a half
months pregnant i got married.
I worked up until i was eight months pregnant as Shane
didnt have a steady job and we had relied on my income for
the past 5 yrs.

Towards the end of my eighth month i began having problems,
my blood pressure rised to extremmely high, i was admitted
to hospital and order bed rest. Thje medication and bed
rest was not working and my blood pressure became of great
concern, My baby must have sensed it and decieded it was
now or never, on Friday the 13th of November i gave birth
to a beautiful baby girl.

I didnt think of it at the time but after i did, i to was
also a Friday the 13th Baby. So here we where the perfect
little family, baby Emma, Shane and me, i stayed in
hospital with Emma for another week, she had problems
feeding as she was early and had not learnt the technique
of sucking.

When we came home this emmense feeling of being alone
overwhelmed me, and i became teary and emotional. I look
back now and see that i was suffering from postnatal
depression and went through this alone for a year. I
returned back to work and hated having to leave my baby. I
hated Shane for not working all those years.

I think thats when our problems really started to arise.



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