2001-07-20 21:16:27 (UTC)

The begining

Dear Diary,

Porn. Still reading?

Porn. That is why I've never managed to keep a diary.

Weird huh? The first and only time I kept a diary, I
decided to try my hand at porn. I was only in the fifth
grade, so it basically started with a long description of
the wine chilling in the cooler, the kissing (my best guess
at least)which finally culminated in 'them having sex'.
Considering I was a complete nerd with no real clue about
sex outside of what I got in health class, this was
decidedly not Hustler material. Or heck, anything that
would fly on a hentai site either. But there you are.

Of course, I immediately forgot about it until it was
brought forcibly back to my attention by my mother. I'd
left it on the livingroom table for days and at some point
she read it. I know this because a week later, trapped in a
car with her for three hours my mom decided it was the
perfect time for us to have a discussion about sex,
appropriateness of material, and every other embarrassing
thing you really don't want to be forced to be lectured by
your mother about on an endless stretch of highway.

Okay, this really wasn't THAT TERRIBLE, tho it felt that
terrible at the time. When I finally got home I ripped the
diary apart page by page, drenched it until the ink smeared
off the page, ripped it into small pieces and threw the
sodden mess into the bathroom trash.

Yeah, I'm thorough.

Heck, my other friend was actually beaten by her mother for
the exact same thing. Writing the 'porn' not throwing it
away. My mom at least complimented me on my writing skill,
if not the choice of material. That's probably why I'm
happy and reletively well adjusted and she's finally got
herself together after going on a three year sex and drug

This the begining of my unfortunate history with diary's.
It started with a mediocre attempt at porn, for a brief
time became an issue of identity, after that, it was just
that I couldn't read my handwriting. Besides, I type faster
than I write anyway. By far.

I'm the daugher of a workaholic and she always took me
along, and there were always lots of computers.

And disk space is valuable.

But what they hey, my best friend told me about this site,
so I figured might as well write a diary that was open to
everyone, that way I don't get any surprises.

This is the begining. Page one or so.