Today, I'm supposed to go to a wedding. A formal affair
out on the north shore of the island. I don't want to go.
I don't want to see my friend's glowing happy face. I
don't want to hug her and kiss both cheeks, and give her my
congratulations. I don't want to give her my personal
check for $100.00 to help her start her new life as a
It's not that I don't want her to get married. It's just
that I'd like to sit down with her and tell her that most
men cheat. Maybe not right away. I want to tell her that
love is not forever, and maybe, if you can get ten good
years together, then you're doing pretty good. It's not
like it was in the old days when you stay married for 50 or
Yesterday, I went to the lawyer. Well, I went to two
lawyers. It's funny how 19 years boils down to a financial
nightmare. No one cares that he left you for a month
because you got old, and fat, and he found someone younger
and prettier. They don't care that he took money from your
bank account to pay for his lawyer. They don't care about
how he called you an asshole, a slut. Or that instead of
having sex with you, he spends hours surfing internet porn
and dating sites. Or that he meets his lover in luxurious
hotels by the bay.
No, they want to know how much your pension will be in 20
years. They want to know how much child support you'll
need, and how much the house is worth.
The judge doesn't want to hear how your heart still stops
when you see your husband's handsome face, how even the
site of him in a crowded room makes you smile and takes
your breath away. No one cares how your husband first
kissed your shoulder after the first time you made love.
Or how you love how strong his shoulders and arms are. And
not even your husband cares anymore because you've become
old and useless and boring in bed.
It's all very cliche. And it really, really sucks. I want
to tell her that it really is a man's world. And when all
is said and done, you really do die alone, and if you're
not pretty enough, no one will ever love you again after
you hit 35. You're now over the hill. An old hag.
So new bride, don't get old, don't get fat. Don't think
that love is forever and that this new husband of yours
will love you forever because in time, it all ends and it's
sad and ugly.