Diary of Stuff (Volume I)
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2002-09-06 04:20:22 (UTC)

Hellish passage through temporal existence

Dam the gates of hellish passage, I still am unable to
arrive at a suitable occupation for one such as I, but I AM
intrigued by world events, and the people who cause
them. . . Journalistic endeavors? Hell, I don't
know. . . I don't know a freaking dammed thing... If it
were in my blood earlier, I think that I would have enjoyed
a more mystical occupation, of monktitude, of sanctified
grace... I am no longer within the RCIA class, but it was
a wonderful refuge from the rest of the world, to be with
and learn more about...the unlearnable... It really put a
twist on my life, and made it much more
complicatedabory... My image of God seems much more
benevolent than most others, but I still pick and choose
his traits, his features, his wishes for me. "Enjoy your
contemplation of pleasant abstractions," He tells me, "But
don't turn your back on your neighbors. Understand what
makes them grieve. Help them if you can, if you are able
to. But try really hard! Hold on to grace, don't let it
go!" But, alas, it is hard to remain faithful within a
world of evil contempt and cynicism, of corruption and
decadence, where the greatest common denominator is
survival, and the promulgation of selfish interests...

Thy symmetry, is fearful indeed...

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