2002-09-05 23:20:27 (UTC)

Affects of Negativity

Blind-sided again!

I swear, I never saw it coming. I never guessed. Not one
suspicious act. But I suppose that's the way of these
things. You think you have your eyes wide open. You want
nothing but truth. Reality. You think if you are open and
honest, you'll receive the same in return.

It's not a matter of expectation, regarding a specific
action or reaction, it's a matter of knowing the value of an
individual, being who they are. Hoping for honesty. Honesty
so full, there is no room for deception, manipulation, or

You hope you won't awake one morning and find not only one
stranger in the bed, but two. Confused to discover not only
were you lied too; you lied to yourself.

Imagination is a mysterious place. It can elude you, while
you stand in the middle, engulfed. On the door, a sign—
"Reality". Who's? Yours? Mine? Ours? No one's?

Everyday, one can read of one's reality and know it is real,
true... at least for the moment. Perhaps a year, or more.
A decade, even. You ask, "Is it possible? Is it real? Or
simply what I hope for, wish for, pray for?"

Was it a case of mistaken identity? Was it present from the
beginning? Was it simply ignored? And if so, what now? Will
imagination continue to serve one well? Is there such a
place as "Reality"a place kind and unaffected by negativity?

Or is it like a dream, turned into a nightmare, exploding
into wakefulness, consciousness... heart pounding, beads of
perspiration on one's forehead, the sound of one's voice, in
the distance, unrecognizable, crying out in agony,
disappointment, and regret?