Aa-chan

Diary of a Deranged Fangirl
2002-09-05 18:51:21 (UTC)

I Can't Believe I Forgot This

Duh! I meant to mention this before I left, but I got all
wrapped up in my happiness.

I got an e-mail from Carl a few days ago. It took me
awhile to get back to him, but I takes me awhile to e-mail
lots of people. So I told him the truth, that I hated it
up here, but I also hated it in Philadelphia and that I
wasn't coming back. He kinda glossed over that part in
his next e-mail and just told me about how school for him
was going.

I guess deep in his mind he thinks I'll come back to
Philadelphia and we'll get married and have ten kids all
named Carl or something.

*Uh.... How 'bout no!!!*

First and foremost I am not ready to get married right
now. I'm only 24 and he will be 23 November 12th. We are
both too young to get married.

Secondly, the boy drives me crazy! That playing video
games over the phone while we're supposed to be talking,
na, that just doesn't kick it.

Third, it's like I told Shujin-San, Carl doesn't know what
to do with me. I am and always will be a bit more
advanced then Carl. Like I said once, I was only Carl's
third, he was at the bottom of a list of seven previous
names with me. Besides, uh, I kinda like my sex.... To
put it mildly, unorthodox. Carl was never one to push the
proverbial envelope in that department. It was always the
same way everytime. And we'd only slept together, wow,
when I think about it, three times! And all of them, with
maybe the exception of the first time, wasn't really
exciting.

And lastly, it's like I'd been saying. Carl and I aren't
aptly matched. He's into rpg card games, and I can't
stand that shit. He's really religous, and I once again
can't deal with it. He's like a child, and personally,
I'd much rather be the child in a relationship. I can't
stand playing Mommy for too long. And I feel with guys, I
shouldn't have to be the Mommy. Men, should be strong and
unyelding. Much like my Shujin-San...

*Ahhh, Shujin-San...*

Just the thought of his voice is sending chills up my
spine and filtering that happy sensation to other parts of
my body... Hee hee hee hee hee....

Damn, I swear Shujin is the coolest guy I have ever
known!!! I can't imagine what I'd do without him!
Hopefully I'll never have to go down that long boring road.

Woo-hoo: Oh Shujin-San.....

Barf: Ugh, Carl....

Current Song: Koji Nanjo's Katsuai




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