2001-07-20 11:28:06 (UTC)

eye for eye where the grass is safer

I thought nothing to the effect of remorse or regret as I
looked down at the rather charred looking diner table. I
told him to meet me here for a reason. A legitimate
reason. Why then, could I not look him in the eye? Shame?
No, wouldn't that contradict with my no-guilt policy. I
swallowed, and managed to look up. "There's something you
should know about Emmanuel."
To say he loved Emmanuel would be like saying that
Socrates merely pondered in his spare time. To him, there
was food, there was water, there was oxygen, and there was
Emmanuel. Because of this, the two were attached at the
hip, simply put. Where one was found, the other would not
be far behind.
"What?" He cocked his head like a retarded puppy. That, to
me, is the perfect analogy for him. Or a slow puppet -your
Back to the table went my eyes. *Just spit it out,
Michael,* I thought. "Emmanuel has been seeing someone," I
"I don't understand." Of course he doesn't. How can
someone so blindly obsessed even comprehend something so
seemingly foreign?
I repeated myself. "Emmanuel has been seeing someone."
His eyes darted rapidly now, and could only spit out
stammered fragments of pronouns.
I interrupted after about seven bouts of "w-why...w-
when...how...but...". "He said he feels caged by you. You
hinder-" I stopped myself. All vocabulary, in order for him
to understand, had to be translated to as simple as
possible. "You PREVENT his complete personality from
blossoming. You've given him this ball and chain that makes
him feel like he has to babysit you for the rest of his
life, feel like...he's *married*."
"Are they still together?" He asked, in fear of the
"No," I sighed. "He realized that seeing two people at
once was too hard. He couldn't stand leading a double life
anymore... so he made a choice. He chose you. He loves you -
loves you more. The ground, whether or not it is greener,
is safer on your side." I paused for drama -classic me. "He
chose you," I emphasized.
He looked somewhat relieved, but even someone as dense as
him could understand that there was still the issue of
infidelity at hand.
"What's going to happen now?" I asked. I was completely
thrown off guard by his answer.
"I guess I'm going to have to end it."
"Are...you serious?"
"What else can I do? Is there anymore trust?"
"But...but after 5 years..."
"Well, obviously 5 years meanr nothing to Emmanuel." Good
point. Inside, I was beaming. All I could think was *An
eye for an eye, Emm, an eye for an eye*. Before I could
harbour a little sinister grin, he continued. "And don't
think I haven't ignored the obvious question, either. The
reason I haven't asked yet is because I'm afraid to know
who it is."
That left me with two options. Come clean or lie. I'm a
viking at both. I fought this out for what seemed like
hours, but was in reality merely seconds. When I cast my
eyes back up, I was greeted with "Who is it?"
I swallowed every bit of pride and the little or no honor
left inside. "Me."