Ohmmy

Oh,The Insanity
2002-09-05 02:27:58 (UTC)

desolation

well
what a great day I had. I went to work, which is always fun, with the
hopes that adam would come down to have lunch with me cuz he starts
school tomorrow...but that didn't happen. I don't really know why
I'm surprised, I mean, what's the difference? he's a great guy and
all, but I dunno anymore. Josh is...pissing me off, actually.
Whenever he's not talking about how great adam is, he's saying he's
gonna kill himself to make adam and I happy. Yes, Josh, that's my
plan, to make you feel as though no one cares so eventually u just
die. I mean, would you just freakin think about how retarded that
sounds?! God, you are one of my best friends, but I don't feel it is
appropriate for you to be interfering with my relationship, unless I
ask for it. Now, had I said "josh, I want you to tell me EVERYTHING
adam says" then it would be perfectly acceptable to come up to me and
say "he says it's not meant to be" but please do not come into work
to talk to me anymore. Not only does it put my job on the line, but
it confronts me with difficult issues in an environment where I
cannot think clearly or make decisions. I mean, jesus...it's my
fucking job!
Anyways,
after all that shit went down, I got pretty sad and just wanted to
sit in my room, but of course that's not a realistic choice, so
instead I went to the Walmart with mom and bought art supplies, then
she went to Michael's in Victor to buy more. Then I went to class.
Business math is pretty cool. The teacher explains things nicely and
i pretty much followed along better than any high school course. The
Foundation in drawing...um, that didn't quite go as well. I tried
really hard, but apparently not hard enough cuz it took me practicly
3 hours to draw a box, and it came out crappy. But I'm just
learning, so eventually, i will be able to draw boxes that look like
boxes and men who don't look like turtles ^_^
anyways, my final thought on the day is: I guess shitty things
happen. I guess I feel like shit and I guess I have to do something
about it. I think that I need to do what makes ME happy and screw
everyone else. I love adam, adam loves me and while he thinks it
won't work out, I think eventually he will see that anything is
possible. I believe in wishing on stars, I believe in bright new
tomorrows and all that junk. But most of all, I believe in adam and
he's a smart boy...he was smart enough to find me, wasn't he? ~_^
oh well
Love ya'll
em




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