Squeeb's world
2002-09-05 01:59:20 (UTC)

One more day...

Ok this nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach had better
go away! I took Mom to rehab today and cleaned the house,
trying to get my mind off of things. I also had a hunch Matt
might come by today and so I was trying to think of ways to
ask him out. I asked my guy friends- Tony and Tobbe what I
should do so they were giving me suggestions but low and
behold, he didn't come today. Bummer. I had a heart to heart
with my cousin though and she said she's been in that
situation too and I should just wing it. He's given me so
many openings that I haven't taken and damn! It's just I've
never done this before and why does it have to be so damn
hard?! I'm so afraid of rejection that it's not funny. If
he says no I'll lock myself in my room and live in my
fantasy world for another 26 years. It's all good. I dunno.
I just want to find someone who'll care for me and I can
care for them and have all my silly little fantasies come to
fruition. And dude (lol @ that word) the fair is this week
and I haven't been in like 7 years. I'd love to go and just
walk around and share it with someone but no one's around.
And I miss Peterborough. I know I've said it time and time
again but it's true. I think another road trip is in order
and soon. I just want out of here so bad and to find people
my own age to hang around with and stuff again. Yeah and
possibly find a relationship.
Oh! Ok I totally found my wedding song. I'm in love with
"Everything" by Lifehouse. Everytime I hear that song I get
chills. and I sooooo want that to be the first dance at my
wedding. Check out the lyrics:
LIfehouse- Everything "No Name No face" 2001
find me here
speak to me
i want to feel you
i need to hear you
you are the light
that is leading me
to the place where
i find peace again
you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting
you are the life to my soul
you are my purpose
you are everything
and how can i
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
you calm the storms
you give me rest
you hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall
you still my heart
and you take my breath away
would you take me in
would you take me deeper now
'cause you're all i want
you are all i need
you are everything

Yeah I think that's it for now. I need to daydream or
something. make a plan of attack. Later all.

Current mood: undecided
Current music: "Everything"- Lifehouse- surprised? LOL