ruthemily

girl, interrupted
Ad 2:
2002-09-05 01:02:36 (UTC)

first entry, not really sure..

first entry, not really sure what to say just at the
moment. i hate me, i hate my life, i want to run and run
and never stop, run to somewhere and someone safe. the
only place i can think of at the moment is back to ana,
into her safe loving arms. i have betrayed her so badly,
yet she is still there for me?? hell knows i don't deserve
it. but thank you ana, and i will work hard again. and
this time when they give me a week to live i won't let
them take you away from me. i need to stop all this
ridiculous over eating and get back to you ana, i hate
myself for gaining so much weight again, yet i have only
myself to blame. ugh, i HATE myself. i'm hurting. i want
to cry but i have no tears left, i try and they don't
come. i'm fed up of this life, this tired tired existance.
i want to feel pure and empty, *HE* has made me feel so
bad and dirty, i need to get rid, GET RID OF IT ALL. all
the words and all the actions from all of those b*stards
who hurt me. i just want to be thin again :'(


Ad:2