Malice

Diary of an awkward child
2002-09-04 23:31:19 (UTC)

wow...life

ok i read the first entry i ever wrote, i changed alot. i
didnt even realize it. i dont think my personality changed
that much but how i look at life definatly did, and some
of my old problems were solved...and some new ones have
surfaced. i start high school tomorrow and i'm not at all
looking forward to it. i hung out with lots and lots of
people today and it was fun, but a particular person whom
im very close to did a few things that werent like him,
and it sort of pissed me off one of the things he did. its
davids birthday today, but hes not who i was talking about
because im not close with david. anyways im still a bit
sad that this person did what he did...i dunno it just
bothers me because it was something i noticed when i came
back from getting change with tiffany. actually it was a
bit funny and scary when we went to get change, i have
this thing against ice cream men but the closest place to
get change was this ice cream truck so tiffany went with
me to get change. so we ask the guy and he was like no i
have ice cream not money so tiffany saw a gas station and
we started walking there. to walk to the gas station we
had to walk in front of the ice cream trusk so while we
did i said ice cream men are evil and the fucking ice
cream man started the truck right when me and tiff were in
front of him. he was gonna try and hit us dammit. fucking
evil ice cream men. i dont like them. they scare me. so do
clowns. i dont like clowns either. argh why wont my mind
stop thinking about what i saw?? argh argh argh argh argh
argh argh. its just this fucking mental picture flashing
in my head and even though i know i can trust the
person...im still paranoid. it has to do with another
friend of mine too but i dont trust her that much anymore
because of things shes done before today. omg its
bothering me so much. its funny how people dont think i'll
realize things, they say something and don't think i know
what they really mean....but i do. im so fucking bored.
and i hafta go do the dishes soon. i hate doing the
dishes. well not really hate just a strong dislike. i
think everyone is still hanging out with each other. i
hope they are having fun because this is the last day of
freedom. i wish i could have stayed out later. i also wish
i was going to murrow and not laguardia. i wish alot of
things. most of my wishes never come true. only one or two
have...i'm thankful they did. i feel sad because of what i
saw before, i wish i could just forget about it because i
know im just being stupid, im always being stupid, but for
some reason it really hurts me. and i just feel like
silently crying... which i might already be doing i dont
even know. i just wish i could talk to some one about it
but i dont wanna talk to that person about it, theyll
probably figure it out anyways, and i dont feel like i can
talk to another girl about it. i dunno what to do. :'( i
was right......i am crying. for alot of reasons, not just
that one, but that reason is a big part of it,just not
all. well anyways im gonna go now. ill be all alone, and
get that lonely feeling, and cry some more.
~Malice~




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