squrlgyrl

change machines and apple trees
2002-09-04 03:27:45 (UTC)

homework sucks

hmmmmmm. i don't know what i was planning on writing
tonight. nothing really happened today. went to school,
came home, watched a movie, called joe'l, went to the
dollar store, got my hair cut....yeah, thats about it. i
have a bunch of homework i should be doing, but i don't
feel like it. im becoming a bum....ive got to stop that. i
know there are things im supposed to be doing, but i can
never get the motivation to actually do anything. my mom
called me tonight and bitched to me about how i should
have gone through Thagard to get my Rx instead of going
through wal-mart. bitch bitch bitch...ok, i know im a bum,
i realize that...but tomorrow, i promise im going to get
some stuff accomplished. thats one thing about college im
not too fond of....there is so much that you have to do,
and no one will do it except you. no parents to come and
bail you out, or go shopping for you, or check into
financial aid for you....all shit you have to do yourself,
or else they bitch. grrrr....im just not in a very good
mood tonight. i don't really know why. i know im lonely
and disappointed. i don't know why im disapointed, but i
feel like i am. im kinda feeling a crying fit coming
on....ahhh, i don't know whats wrong with me.
----i do know that 'home' isn't my home anymore. i live up
here, in tallahassee, and i guess thats ok. i don't have
anything for me down in melbourne except joe'l. but thats
a lot, just one person, but thats more than i ever thought
i would have. i wrote joe'l a letter tonight. actually it
was an english assignment, but i figured she'd like it
more than my clasmates. --it sounds strange, me being so
far away from her, but shes all i have. i don't know what
i would do without her in my life. ahhh...i sound so
clingy. ---to whoever said 'that which does not kill us
makes us stronger': if im not as 'strong' as some
monsterous body-builder demonstrating the uses of Bo-
Flex....you;re so piss-wrong that i can't even being to
tell you. ...and to joe'l: hun, i love you, and i miss
you, and i hope i'll be seeing you soon. ~d




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