Underdogs and Tidal Waves

Southside of Mellow
2002-09-04 00:57:06 (UTC)

The will to live

September 3, 2002
Tuesday 8:34 p.m.

I may only live a couple more days.
I only have a couple more days left.
I haven't even lived half my life yet but I will lose it
because two so-called righteous parents think that they're
right.
And in two days I could die because of some stupid petty
worthless disagreement.
I am going to lose my life just because they think that
they're so "right".
But tell me, if they're so "right", why don't they just
drop this.
I am so sick and tired of all the shit I had to put up
with this summer just because they think that I'm messed
up.
I've had to go sleepless nights wondering when all of
this would end.
And you know what, I can't sleep sound tonight because in
a couple of days I might lose my will to live.
I'm just a scared kid.
They may think I'm a bad person.
But I just wrote a story.
I just wrote what I wrote and now look where I am.
I'm just screwed.
I never meant to offend anyone to this point.
It's not even really serious.
Why don't they just let me live my life.
I didn't commit a crime.
If I could I'd just leave and dissapear for good.
I just wish that they'd just leave me alone for good.
I don't want anything to do with their lives.
They think I'm messed up for having an opinion.
God, I just wish that this would all end.
I am so tired stressing and wasting my time worrying about
all this bullshit.
I am so tired.
I wasted my summer on this crap.
I wasted plenty of days worrying when I could have been
doing something productive.
And now look.
I'm a wreck.

All of you reading this must think I'm just whining and
I'm taking this too seriously and immaturely.
I'll tell you this.
Yes, I am immature and maybe I am taking this way too
seriously but tell me this, how would you feel if your
life and rights to live were being threatened?

I may only have two days left in this small life of mine.
Inside I am screaming.
Screaming for all of this to just stop.
Screaming the words that I could never say in front of
their and their daughter's faces.
Screaming for them to just fucking stop this and let it
just go.
I am fucking fed up with all of this crap that I am
getting from them.
I just want this to end and I just want them to leave me
alone.
That's all I want.
I just want some closure.
Is that too much to ask?
I just need this to end.
I can't enjoy my life anymore.
I can't enjoy being a kid and to live life to it's
fullest.
I just wanna live.
Is that too much to ask.
God, I just wanna live.
I don't wanna lose everything just so they can say that
they're right and get all full of themselves.
I just want to live in peace for once.
I just want my will to live......




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