GoOd TiMeZ & bAd
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2002-09-02 21:30:15 (UTC)

what the hell????

omgosh i have been so upset lately becuase of certain
things. i mean recently some shit happened and i got really
messed up and i did some things w/ a guy that i totally
regret. then the next weekend i got messed up again and
hooked up w/ two guys in the same night!! uh i thought that
i was a slut! i need so much attention adn no one was
giving it to me and like there someone was just waiting for
me to let them do anything w/ me adn i was letting them and
i felt used and so upset!!!! and i told my best frined who
also is my ex boyfriend adn he freaked out! he started
being like do u want people to know that u are a slut! and
i started crying so much!!!! i am so mad because it's
somethign that i cant take back even though i wish i could.
and now i think that i still ahve feelings for him. adn i
like him so much no i love him so much. and i want to like
just drop everything im doing and just hug him! i love him
so much and he changed my perspective on a lot of things.
but on the other hand i also like his best friend a whole
lot. now me and his best frined have been friends for
awhile adn i always had this secret that i liked him. i
would love to tell him my "little secret" but i recently
just heard that one of his frineds thinks that i am like
stuck up his ass and all and i am so mad at him cuz he is a
faggot n e wayz and nobody likes him. i feel really weird
about this whole situation cuz i like two people so much
and i dont know if either one of them like me. and i just
cant choose between anyone.i dont knwo what i should do.
and i dont have anyone to talk to about all of this. and i
keep setting myself up for being hurt. i am so stupid
sometimes and i hate it! also i am starting to get really
fat adn i cant stand that! i am going to ahve a goal to
where i dont eat 3 days out of 7. if i can do that then i
will lose pounds. i think i will start tomorrow and eat and
jsut like even it out to wehrei dont eat and wheni do. okay
well im gonna go!! latz