In the End
My bedtime should have been hours ago, yet I am still stuck
in the computer chair doing nothing of any importance.
Today was a stressful day...I was left with feelings of
unimportance and hopeless despair...never a good combo when
you're trying to impress a new group of Ultimate Frisbee
players. Still, I'd like to think I managed pretty well,
diving to make some interesting catches.
I digress...although how can I stray from a path if I was
never really on one?
I feel like I am the only one who makes effort sometimes
and that I am willing to make more sacrifices than a
certain special someone in my life, whom I shall only refer
to as Bonehead for confidentiality's purpose. During my
sweaty adventure into the wide world of frisbee for the
night, I decided calling him would be a good idea. I could
not have been more wrong. The problem does not lie solely
within him though...neither of us has been making as much
effort. However, I would still be willing to see him
whenever we can both find the time, instead of making a
lame excuse as he did tonight. He wouldn't stop by the
field to so much as give me the time of day because of the
abundance of unknown faces that might be scattered among my
friends and I. I am not usually one to be irrational
(although Bonehead might scoff at that should he ever read
it), but things do get to me when they happen in excess.
Also, the situation might not have been so bad had I not
been doing many such things for him in the recent weeks. I
suppose this doesn't make any sense. And why should it? I
am pretty much typing it in a speedy blind rage.
I can't figure out why I am so upset. There are the
surface reasons, but also some I have yet to discover which
are hidden. It'll take time, but usually I eventually
figure myself out in the end. It's a tough task, but
somebody's gotta do it.
I think perhaps I will put myself to bed and maybe take up
the subject again when I am feeling less frenzied and more
level-headed. Sleep might just do the trick.