2002-09-02 04:29:57 (UTC)

Back and injured...

I recently (finally) started paying attention to a few of
my aches and pains that have been going on for a few months
now. The main one is that I think I've had something in my
foot for the longest time. It never really bothered me that
much, but I wanted to get it out before school started so
that I don't have to walk around daily with pain in the
main part of my left foot. So my mom helped me out and my
whole foot is bandaged up. (I couldn't find any bandage
that's as effective and smaller.) Other then that I think I
have a similar problem on the other foot, only on the side
of my pinkie toe. But I think that, that may just be too
much information. (Should have warn ya sooner, haha, oh
well. Jokes on you! :0)

Other then that, there is some shocking news. Teresa is
coming back. So you thought I'd be excited. At first I was.
I've been thinking though, and Karoline was right on what
she told me yesterday. (She came back from college on the
weekend.) People change too fast. (Her best friend already
changed and it's only been a week. She and every one else
is changing as well. It's so weird and she's kinda
depressed as well.) Damn it. Teresa seems to not have
changed all that much. If anything than for the better. In
which case I'm proud of her. But some things are just kinda
weird the last time we talked. It seemed kinda okay with me
at the beginning, (not that she needs my permission or
anything,) but she seemed to have done all her changing
last minute. Now she speaks of Matt. As though he'd be "THE
ONE." I doubt that. That's the main part that bugs me. I
know she has high dreams and hopes, but if they remain
faithful to each other, and their infatuation remains, then
they might just end up getting married with in 2 years or
so. I don't wish evil for the guy. It's not like that at
all. But he might just take away my best friend. She wants
kids early, but what about college? A marriage ceremony
costs as much as going to college in some cases. Depends on
what schools, and what ceremony, the occasion may cost less
then the education. But what then? Sure he has dreams too,
but let's face it, he delivers pizza's, and Teresa is a
waitress. Which soon she will not be. I don't see how she
sees this working out in the end.

I hope I'm not just being selfish. I really can't tell when
that happens often times, but I want my best friend. We
kept looking forward to all the times when we can be free.
Riding in cars to coffee shops, being independent, and
maybe even being roomies. That's not gonna happen though
because my best friend went to Callifornia a girl and just
when I thought the good times and even better are gonna
come back, she becomes a woman. Plans to save herself for
him. We always thought, hooking each other up, and going on
FAITHFUL!!! I would wish them all the best, but since what
I've been seing of a failed marriage lately, I won't. Allow
me to go into my next trauma.

My parents are pissing me off with their failed marriage
problems. My dad is a gambler and recently he started
drinking on occasion. (But we all know what that drinking
expands to under enough influence.) He's been arguing now
that it's been a year since my mom has made him buy and
make his own food. (She did this because he doesn't
contribute at all to our lives, he refuses to pay debt
collectors, and he hardly gives her enough money for the
rent, and insurance payments.) They have been arguin long
enough. It's so annoying. Especially how my mom explains it
to me in her way, and then my dad says his point of
view in his annoying/angry tone. (Their fighting as we
speak about light. Weather it should be on or off.) This
has much more details to it, which I dare not explain
because I wanted to sumarize this, not write a book.
(Literally.) They have both told me exactly those words: "I
regret getting married."

This is why I think Teresa is making a wrong opinion. Sure,
keep faithful dude, but if you see a guy out there that
sparks your attention, don't shy out. Maybe it's just me,
but I believe that everyone is born with a certain code to
them that has a certain matching level to someone else.
Whether it's man, woman, 3rd cousin that's their deal. As
long as they click, and they have this chemistry going on
that just makes them inseporable, and overcoming of every
obsticle, then that's love. Let's face it, now a days, one
can have many loves. But true love - that's the person you
click with the most. That's when your compatability
couldn't be any higher then any other person in the world.
THAT'S TRUE LOVE. I just hope you give thourough thought to
any of this "love/infatuation" stuff. Besides there are
many people, and as far as I know it, you've only been to
Cali, Chicago, and Mexico. Who knows where that true love
really hides. Wheather Matt would REALLY hold to his vows
like a man should, or like my parents, and many other
couples do. Besides what can you know of a boy, from just
one month?