the life of a not so perfect KT girl
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2001-07-19 03:07:39 (UTC)

he called .. I was not here .. I made it to regionals .. and city !




Yo ! guess what I made it to regonals this weekend at the
NAD. I am way happy ! I am all OMG !and now I am kinda
scared .. I mean am i ready to hard core compete with gurls
who are more serious about this than I am !? I basically
did this to get my mom off my back .. but now I am
thinking this is something I am actually good at and
maybe I should put more work into it ! Well okay so I
try .. hehehe Okay so i had to go to practice tonight
and I am all Grrr bad swim coach .. bad! Muy Malo !!!!
Grrr ! I have to do a 200 free at city and I am all I can't
really even do the 100 with out almost dieing .. * okay so
i am not good at distance * it suxs but hey I will make
it !
humm well "he " called and i was not home ! :( I
sent manda one of our convos and she was all * ya'll are
soo cute * * you should hook up with him * and I am all *
believe me if I could I would *It makes me kinda sad .. I
mean I have finally found the one guy who possess (?) every
qualty I look for in a guy and he lives in Maryland ! He
has all these big words for our realtionship and I am all *
its not fair * ! he thinks it like a test or something ..
but here is how I see it .. I want him !he lives far away
but u know what its not like he lives in England .. its
only Maryland ! and we will overcome the distance ! We
were talking today and I asked him * Can you see yourself
loving me .. I mean being in love with me *
and to this he replied * yes , very*
what does this mean ! Have we passed Like .. and if not
is it wrong for me to have deeper feeling than just like
for him ? Humm I don't really smile anymore except when i
talk to "him " .. i know he would not hurt me ! Yes we
have different oppinions on things *music* but that is why
i like him soo much .. it would not be fun if we agreed on
everything ! I wonder sometimes if he thinks I am a freak
b/c i wanna see him all the time .. I miss him all the
time .. ya know .. I hope he does not think that ! for
real u see I can not imagin my life with out this guy he is
a part of me now .. and I wake up in the morning and wonder
of he will call .. i go to bed and wake up in the middle of
the night and wonder what he is doing st that exact
moment .. he finishes my sentences and we say the exact
samethings at the exact sametime .. he thinks we are both
devis so we are ment to be together .. and u know he is
right ! right now he knows me better than my best friend
does .. b/c of the fact this is my life ya'll ..w/e i put
in here is exactly what happens in my house .. my mind ..
and in my life .. he has read almost all of these
entries .. if not all .. and these are things that not even
my best friend knows about ...."he " does not judge me for
the mistakes I have made .. as i don't judge him .. I can
not judge him .. I can't get mad at him .. but yet i will
not take his crap :p sorry sweeti i had to throw that
in :) hehehe
just in general we would be soo good together he thinks it
and so do i .. so like I said .. have we passed like and if
not .. is it wrong of me to care about him more than just
like ?

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