Lost and Searching
2002-09-01 18:23:42 (UTC)


Well yesterday started out just like any normal day, but
then boy did it turn downhill extremely quickly..the answer
to justin not returning my phone calls, nor answering them
is becuase he was seeing someone else, who is yes older,
ulglier and looks like she has been around the ben a couple
of hundred times....

i held onto my anger as long as i could, and smiled till i
thought my face would fall off, i mean the damn guy
wouldn't even have a simple conversation with me,

made it as far as my truck till i lost it, and to prove
for it, there is a fucking dent in the truck, my eyes were
puffy and red, and i threw up, which is something i detest,
but then i put that towards all the alcohol i had seriously
downed in a matter of hours.......but i had the chance to
snub him like crazy which is a small victory on my
when i saw the guy who introduced us, i went up to him,
and he took one look at me and told me to get into the
truck, he didn't know what to do b/c i was laughing and
smiling but yet i was crying, i had to do it, till we got
past justin, and then i was going crazy, i asked him why
hadn't he told me he said that he hadn't found out till
friday night.......but then i told him that yeah he had
warned me and that i hadn't listen, but what pissed me off
is that justin didn't have the balls to tell me when i
talked to him last........

well i freaking cried on the way home,
and then early sunday morning before seven i called him and
asked him why didn't have the balls to tell me when i
talked to him...he hung up