2002-09-01 17:00:47 (UTC)

I want to be adored... somebody who wants no one and nothing more than to be
with me,
I'll never have to wonder no more about my sanity cus
I will be adored like i deserve to be...

amy steinberg. i didnt see her. of course. matt didnt
want to go and by the time i talked him into it, i didnt
really want to anymore. we drove around and went to
walmart and dennys. we were doing the blood brother thing
with these little tubes to keep each others blood but he
freaked out... i felt bad right away cus i got irritated
with him but we talked about it. and i mean, its not like
HES the weird one about it. anyway, i wont see him
today. i work, probably all night, and its sunday so
he'll be with his mom all day.

"Scorpio is wary of deception, but for now, the Stars are
playing a fair game. Look on the bright side and RELAX IN
THE GLOW. Sometimes temptation can be a good thing."

Im trying to not to question too much or anything but, I
wonder what changed his mind..

i quit smoking. i dont think i wrote that. but i havent
smoked in about a week... maybe it will last.

i had the fucking craziest dream ive ever had. it was
like, me and ashley and dawn and sarah and marcy and kat
and claudia and jinks and this other girl named alli,
really little and blond and goofy but kinda hot. (she is
not a real person as far as i know) and first, me and
ashley were in her room and i was like why did you move
your bed and she was like its always been there and i was
like NO it hasnt and we were fighting about it, and then i
was saying how i didnt want to go to prom because they had
2 seperate ones and claudia and all my friends were going
to the other one but i had to go to the other one by myself
and ashleys like im going to that one but with emily and i
was like yeah i dont want to go and then we were walking
around this place, like downtown but kinda like a fair and
guys kept coming up and giving me stuf, then we met up
with all those people i said before. and we went and sat
down at this big table. and ashley was like "Claudia, we
need to talk" (everyone knew it was about Jinks) and
jinks is like "She doesnt want to talk to you" and i was
like "hey mellow out just let them go talk for a minute"
and shes like "WHAT?" and claudia was like i'll be right
back jinks and jinks kinda grabbed her all mean, and i was
sitting between her and ashley, at this big round table.
and i was like "FUCK YOU leave her alone she can TALK to
her fucking friends whenever she WANTS to" and jinks
stopped and looked at me all scary and she was like give me
a cigarette and i was like i dont have one and she grabbed
the back of my shirt at my neck and she was like GIVE ME
ONE and i was like I QUIT and she was like pulling my shirt
really tight around my neck and she was like scremaing at
me and choking me with my shirt and it was ripping and
suddenly kat was like jinks stop and she got in her face
and they started fighting and then this table of people
next to us got all in jinks face and soon EVERYONE was
fighting and i saw her like kicking claudias ass and ashley
and then suddenly sarah was on her side, and it was them
against everyone else there and it was so weird and i ran
away and i took marcy and i called the police but they said
they wouldnt come because i didnt know how to describe
where we were and i was calling matt but he wouldnt pick up
and i was so scared sarah was guna come out of nowhere and
kill me and i went upstairs and it was out of control
EVERYONE hundreds of people fighting and i was upstairs
watching and kat came up with sarah like she had her with
her arms behind her back and shes like help me and i was
like trying but sarah was trying to hit me and i was like
Sarah stop i didnt do anything to you and then a security
guard dragged up claudia and the alli girl and about then
some guy with the wrong number called and woke me up.

anyway it was really weird. i want to take a nap and then
go home and help marcy clean and go to work I DONT WANT TO