Sydrena's Life
2002-09-01 06:32:49 (UTC)

Entry #2

Its 2:21 am and I am crying. I am crying because I
wondering why I was place here for. I cry because I hate
myself and I always had. I always wished I was never born.
I always wished my life would become better. But it
hasn't. In fact it has become worst.Why me lord. Why me.
Why was I sent here for. Why have I always had low self
esteem. Why have I always been depressed. I used to live
in beleive that I wasn't depressed. But I know that its
true and always been like that. Why am I being tested. I
had about 20 boyfriends and none of them think twice about
me. I used to have them because it gave me a false feeling
of pride that someone actually liked me. Now I know it
hasn't gotten me anywhere. Its now 2:26 am and I have stop
crying, but for how long. I know its going to come back.
It has since I was about seven. Now I am fifteen and still
the same feelings keep returning. I have no talent. Only
thing I can do is be smart, and I can't even do that very
well. I need help, but who. I can't talk to anyone or am I
close with anyone to even consider talking to them. I made
sure that I wasn't close to anyone. I am independent. And
it hurts so bad that I am. That I have to do and figure
out everthing out on my own or that I have no one to back
me up. Well I am getting tired of typing so I am going to
close. Bye.