black_horse4_moi

Hobbes' Diary
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2002-08-31 22:09:58 (UTC)

been a long couple of days

it's been a rather long couple of days. i've come down
with mono and it hasn't been any fun. :P i'll get better,
though not too soon. my horseback riding has come to a
complete halt, which really sucks for me. i was getting
all ready for the big rated show and then WHAM. all the
work i've gone through, all the work i've put my horse
through will not be able to pay off. i won't be able to
prove to anyone that yes i can do that and yes my horse
can do that. i'm never gunna make it to the big leagues
this way. guys are another issue. ugh!! lol! i don't know
how to let my guy down easy. i just feel that since my
diagnosis i shouldn't bring anyone else into my life. my
family life isn't that great either. the last guy who got
a taste of it totally flipped and wanted to kill my
father. i've just been depressed lately. all i want to do
is be left to myself and be free. lol. be single. :) i
think the whole problem is because i'm a very non-commital
person when it comes to relationships. *sigh* i jus need
to get back to my horses and clear my head....


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