Shantie

Finding my Light
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2002-08-31 07:20:00 (UTC)

Unbelievable

These pass few months have been very hard one me.
Every since Nick came back into my life I've been thinking
so much of my past this junior year of high school. I must
say that it is very damaging knowing that you have been
used by someone you believed you loved and loved you back.
And to top it off have someone you've been best friends
with for over six years leave you for no good reason and
betray your trust.
Every nigh I go to bed thinking of this now. I know
now that I need help from someone who knows how I feel and
knows what I have been through. Every day it gets harder
and harder to find my pain and suffering, but I know the
people around me would not understand. This type of pain
is apain that, hopefully, very few know and experienced.
I pray for that at least.
I haven't really been myself lately and maybe I have
been acting like myself. I am a great little actress on
covering my real emotions from the world and presenting a
happy and carefree female teen who will very soon become a
adult.
Right now I am wishing for my life to fast forward
until the day I am engaged to my future husband. I know
then all my silly worries will be gone and I will no longer
have to worry about my past and truly think of my future.
Until then though I must keep on acting to keep the people
around me happy.


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