2ndbest

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2002-08-31 03:57:58 (UTC)

Just Thinking

This is my first online diary and since I spend so much
time on my computer, I thought I might as well keep an
online diary!
School today was extremely horrible. I regret having to go
there. It's not because of ___. I'm sure that I would feel
the same about any school that I went to. We started
school 18 days ago, but it already feels like I've been in
school for five years. My friends are cool or whatever,
but I just don't think that people there understand me. In
fact, I don't think that people anywhere understand me. My
closest friends don't know half of what goes on with me.
Nobody really can get why I am the way that I am.
Sometimes, It's cool to be in my own complicated world,
but then there are times that I wish I could actually talk
to someone about what goes on in my life. The thing is, I
couldn't trust someone enough to let them in on my little
secret me. It's not that I don't love my friends or
anything, it's just that I feel like I've been let down
soooo much that I don't want to open myself up again to
get let down again. Pain seems to be an endless cycle for
me. I know half the time I bring it on myself. The thing
that bugs me SO bad is when people try to butt into my
life without me letting them.
I was just thinking today about the way I feel about life.
I started to wonder if everybody goes through this. I know
that I'm just a teenager and adults say I'm just growing
and life is messed up at this time, but I really think
it's more than that. When I think about how everyone might
suffer like me, it actually brings me comfort. I don't
know exactly why, but I think it feels like I'm a part of
something. Just thoughts like that make life a little less
lonely.




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