IdleAmbition

innominate
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2001-07-18 05:03:47 (UTC)

First

~To the audience of the performance of my life
I've tried many times to keep up a diary but it seems I
never find the time or the guts to put down what it is I
really feel. It is my view that no one writes a diary
without wanting someone to read it. Even the most private
of things written down and hidden away are there to be
found someday. Things ment to be kept truely to ones self
never leave the boundrys of mind save to invade a dream
every now and again. With this in mind I never felt the
urge to out down in words how I feel. It's only a strong
emotion that would ever make me put in the effort to write
something down, and there are very few positive things
people have done for me that are powerful enough for me to
put for the effort. I fear ending up writting down nothing
but pity trips and hateful rants on people I care about. So
it will be my attempt to mearly record observaisions of
myself and others here. Forgive me if I sound to harsh but
I have learnd to take things with a handfull of sand and
not to hold on to tightly. So when I state what I see I
state what I see.

I spend my days careful not to offend anyone or put at risk
my appearence and standing in the rings of people I
border. Each mask is carefuly placed and I try not to
damage them. Here I will try to get past them but I fear I
am not so bold as to risk being found out for what I am,
good or bad. If I seem to siguest something distasteful to
you the viewer. Somethign that offends, or upsets. strikes
out or harms your person, simply note that it is not what
you think it could be and that I must be refering to
something else. Ignore all offences. God forbid anyone
take note or attempt to improve themselves over any of my
unworthy ideas. After all a stage is for one to preform
and entertain. There is never any meaning to it. Mindless,
or is that TV?

from the stage
your to watch
~Tiaim


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