2001-07-18 04:50:07 (UTC)


will be the last night that i spend with you.
after all these years.
everything we have had and been.
will be condensed to broken sentences and sideways glances.
my cigarettes will be my only comfort.
you were my sanity at one point
and you were my love
you held me up.
and there are so many things i want to say to you.
and i dont know how.
well say goodbye and hug and turn away.
and that will be it.
no calls.
no letters.
no anything.
tomorrow will be the end of it all.
thats all the closure i will ever have.
i know youll tell me not to cry.
and youll speak words
out of a book
and tell me to smile.
and i wont look at you
when i drive away
ill pretend it isnt real.
just some big play.
my life is a dream
and the feelings are fictional
as are the characters.
i have to not feel
so much time together
on the phone at all hours.
petty fights
and hardcore hurting.
decete and apathy.
and everything.
everything is over now.
and now i have my doubts.
did i do the right thing.
did i think the right way.
should i have kissed you?
before i went away.
maybe i shouldnt have done this.
and maybe it was all a mistake.
but through all this.
all i did was take.
and take.
and now.
NOW its too late.
to do ANYthing about it.
so ill go on.
and i will move forward.
and i wont look back.