Life as I know it.
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2001-07-18 04:04:36 (UTC)

magic carpet ride

Song has been in my head......=0(

well what has happened to me?

Well yesterday was Kristin's birthday so i hung out with
her most of the day. I got her the cutest lil candle
holder in the world, i want it but you know I can live. So
I went over her apartment and talked to her and Chuck for a
bit, til Lara and Dylan came over. Now we all went to the
southside and got some desert except im the dork who just
wanted a salad...then we went to shadyside just to walk
around, and then dum dum dum we went to freaking Greensburg
just to go to Sheetz, but oh, not any old Sheetz, but the
one we went to when we all attended Pitt-Greensburg. Also
we drove past there and we just gaped at the campus, which
sucks. Well we went to Sheetz and we were llike the
biggest assholes in the free world. Of course we were.
Then Lara and I began talking about Mammoth Park which is
like 15 miles away cause we always tried to make it there
but alas we never do. So we went there, you know breaking
into a state park at night is kinda illegal but laws are
meant to be broken and you know what? It was so dark and
we had no flashlight we didnt find the slide. So when
Kristin, Lara and I all decide to be big assholes and
pretend that we are incoming freshman looking forward to
tour UPG (just cause we love making fun of it) we will go
then. Then finally I will see the giant slide, and, oh
yes, it is really called the "GIant Slide".
So I got back to Pittsburgh round midnight and went
straight to Heathers in which i found Mike there, no
problemo since im trying to hook them up and we all just
chilled and watched movies.
Then today I basically did nothing. hahah no i
chilled at heathers and that was it. fun oh fun. it was
really. LIndsay called and she will be coming up next
weekend, so with her here ill totally so not be thinking of
Matt.......yeah he creeps into my mind a lot. I just dont
know about him. I love him sometimes and I hate him most
times. I mean I miss him, but I dont feel sad anymore. I
dont cry that much anymore, maybe once every two week when
I come across something that reminds me of him and I
already feel sad and it just adds to the hurt. I dont feel
empty anymore I think having no contact with him is really
helping me a lot, im not curious about him anymore,but I
cant deny that part of me still loves him, eventho I will
say and have said I hated him I dont. I resent him a lot,
saying things that made me think we were going to be
together for a while. I hate myself for thinking that
could happen, I mean I should know better...seriously I
should I really should. But with Love comes stupidity. I
just wish I could block all memories of him out of my mind
til I find another man I am madly in love with. Then I
wouild like to remember him, but not now cause as long as I
remember him I onlly have good memories and cant face up to
me hating him. So I try to forget him, I still try to hate
him, so maybe it will happen someday.