Jack's Twisted Kingdom
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Bad HR dept Joke....
From: The Desk of the Personnel Manager
To: All Personnel
Subject: Program to Facilitate Termination of Surplus Personnel (PFTSP)
A comprehensive study of Computer Capabilities makes it necessary
to give consideration to the termination of surplus personnel.
In accordance with company policy a new program has been instituted
to phase out all surplus personnel by the end of the current fiscal
year. This program is known as RAPE (Retire All Personnel Early)
and is to be placed in effect immediately.
Employees who are RAPED will be given the oppurtunity to seek other
employment, provided that while they are being RAPED they request a
review of their employment record before discharge takes place.
This phase of the proceedure will go under the name of SCREW
(Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers).
All employees who have been RAPED and SCREWED may also appeal for a
final review. This final phase is known as SHAFT (Study by Higher
Authority Following Termination).
Present company policy dictates that employees may be RAPED once,
SCREWED twice, but SHAFTED as many times as deemed appropriate.
The Personnel Manager