ramblings of a madwoman
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2002-08-29 08:57:42 (UTC)

Late Night/early morning.....

I don't know why I let it go so long in between updates.
Mostly because no one reads them or cares except Adam. I
think I only do it because he pesters me to.

I don't suppose my life is interesting enough to commit to
the written word. Then again, television is innundated with
reality shows all of the time, and those people are far
from interesting. (Save for Ozzy. m/ )

Hmm... School begins once more in less than a week, and
truth is, it begins for the last time for me. That's really
bizarre. I don't think I ever thought I was going to get
older. When you're itty bitty, you think sixteen is this
amazing and freedom-inducing age. Now I'm a year and a half
past that, scratching my head and mumbling "whathafuck?"
under my breath.

Where was the fun?

Beh, I'm angsty, there was a whole lot of fun. I made
friends, I fell in love, I got a driver's liscence. Somehow
though, when it's actually occuring, it doesn't seem so
monumental as it did 9 or 10 years ago. That's probably
where I get a lot of my bleh-ish moods from. Nothing ever
really lived up to my childish expectations.

Maybe that's just life's way of preparing us for giant
letdowns later in life. I keep expecting finalities. You
get the job, close curtain, happy ending. Money and
security! You get married. close curtain, smiles all
around. Fucking movies. They didn't mention all the work
involved afterwords for maintenence. :)

Dumb crapass movies and ugly girls at the mall today made
me feel fat. Just because they over-excercise and swap
eating disorder stories like we used to swap pogs, (good
old pogs...) doens't mean that everything should be catered
to them. Womens clothes are made for skinny no-ass chicks
and that, sadly(?), is not me. I have a funny build. I'm
not fat, but I'm not thin either and my bone structure
makes me too tall in certain spots for certain clothes.
brragh. Everything is too short in the legs.

I'm apparently a size freak. So in response to that, I have
decided to give weight watchers another whirl. I lost 25
pounds doing it two years ago, so I figure it should work
again. I don't wanna be a toothpick, I just wanna rid
myself of some rolls.
I don't need to feel bad about me, but sometimes I just do.

In happier news, I'm going to see Reel Big Fish on Sept.
19. Ticketholders, I'll see you there. Everyone else,
uhh...... so long suckers!

Red Hot Chili Peppers- My Friends

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