Blind My Eyes
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2002-08-29 01:58:58 (UTC)


ok. so here's the thing. i'm single and extrememly lonely.
my ex is being a PAIN in my ass, and i'm afraid to tell
anyone i like that i like them because i couldn't handle
rejection right now. i don't know... maybe i'm just chicken
or maybe michael was right. i hope to god he wasn't because
i need some sort of affection from guys.... yeah, i kno,
people reading this probably think i'm gonna end up
pregnant Really soon, but i'm not because i don't let it
lead to that... i need to Love someone for it to go to
that.... and love... that's not here. i'm afraid to
actually love anyone because all love ends in a tragedy. i
had lol, but i think it's really how i feel..... someone
dies in the end, and maybe for some people the time they
had together was worth it, but for me.... maybe it's just
my age. i dont' know.
i'm head over heels in "like" with someone... i mean, the
boy's got me hooked, but i DON'T love him. and i refuse to
let myself love him... i guess in a matter of speaking, i
have a shield up. i don't know yet if that's good or bad,
but i'm figuring it out.
ahhhhhhhhh!!! i'm making a total idiot of myself... i'm
talking to the guy i like now... and i am sounding SO
stupid!!! maybe i should just get offline and tomorrow
pretend this never happened... but i gotta talk to him
tomorrow! help me! lol

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