angelface119

My Reality
2002-08-28 18:43:20 (UTC)

What do i want?

What do i want... its a question i have been asking myself
a whole lot here lately. i realy dont know. i have wanted
a seriuos bf since i was 16 but now that i am back at
school and have so many options, i cant help but think, i
just wanna be single and date around and see where it gets
me. i like the idea that boys want to date me. i like the
idea that i could take my pick if i wanted to. now that i
am faced with the most amazing bf a girl could ask for i
have to say, i am not real sure that is what i want. i
would love to casually date this guy, and one day i coud
commit to him, but right now, unless i could have "that
guy" or "j" i dont want anyone seriously. they will always
be optinos for me. i care aobut them both deeply, but
other than them, i honestly just want to date aroudn to see
where it gets me. i like the idea of being with different
ppl to see what the world has to offer. i like the idea of
having boys pursue me. they dont do that when you have a
bf. the minute they find out you arent single, suddenly
you are no longer attractive, so my optinos are, be the gf
of a boy who i like but dont want to commit to, date around
and pass up one of the best bfs a girl could ever ask for
and date random guys fro fun, or save myself for the two
guys that i really want.. well anyway i go, there is going
to be a downside, so i can honestly say that i dont know
what i want. i want boys. i want to flirt and talk to new
ppl and see what the world has to offer, i am just scared,
in doing that, i will miss out on what i am suppose to be
with, or is that possible?.. can i really miss my
destiny?..or if it really is my destiny, will it find me
again?




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