Angel

Is it possible?

Yes ity is. I actually like school. Everyone say is that
possible, I hate beeing back, I I dont:-)
Even thought I didnt wanted to start school agen this year,
I would love some more vacation, I love beeing back!

Finaly I get some system in my life, there is one thing
that is standing stil: I`ll have to go to school. Its made
me a lot better;-P
My subjects are also okey, my class has the best teachers
bacause we have been cloplaining all the time about the
other ones.
Im working a lot, this night I only got tp sleep four
hours, I had the last shift at the cyber cafe. Dante was
there in a meeting, I got so pissed on him for allmost
nothing, he wanted me to do him a favior and I asked him to
help me (doing it for him) and he just said "well, you
gotta do something to be paid". Said by the guy who did
absolutley nothing when he worked there and I had been
doing a lot all the time!
But the thing I think, is that he always do as I say, if I
told him to eat something he didnt like he did, and no he
didnt wanted to help me doing him a favior. For the first
time he said no, it made me kind of sad, even though I dont
care a thing about him, I just like beeing in conrtoll I
guess.

Oh well, have I told you that me and Chris have runed into
each other a lot lately? If not I guess I just said it..
I like him alot, but I do not have those feelings I once
had, I like the way we are and I dont wanna change it,
good, cause I think I`ve spoiled my chances with him anyway.
I have started thinking about S* lately, wondering how this
fall gonna ba and when we`ll start talk tougether.
I miss him, but Im better without him right now and I think
the same goes for him.
Oh baby how can we survive this?
He`s stil home, but living in two weeks for not to come
home before christmas, yeah. I think its good, I like it
this way, its the way it always have been.
I used to be scared to run into him when he was home,
before that night, now I dont think about it.
If it happends, I`ll have to del with it then.

And Tommy, yeah. Its good, he`s good, we`re great, but Im
not always as great. I think I got a kind of depression, I
never talk about it to anyone except Samuel about it, I
have always been like this, it has nothing to do with Tommy
as a person. I tryed this doctor online thing, and they
said that I was not crazy, but maybe I could need a little
help. I dunno.
The thing with Tommy, why I somethimes get so sad, might be
that he has so much power over me, without knowing it him
self. He can make me feel so good, beeing so nice and
telling me the sweetest things. But what if he didnt, Im
verry much in love with him, whet if he broke up with me,
found a nother girl behind my back or just figured that he
wanted someone better?
I know thats not my Tommy but stil I think about it.
Im so stupid, he was never intrested in a girl befor he
meet me, he dont have any close girl friends except those
in his family and he tells me over and over agen that Im
the one.
Pour guy, and I dont tell him whats wrong with me, I wont
say why Im sad and he is worrid. But its not like Im sad
all the time, dont missunderstand it, usaly I try to hide
it. Its only like three times he`s seen me sad. Now Ive
started to have nightmares to, stupid nightmares, is my
mind completly lost?
I wake up all the time from this werid dreams and
nightmares. I guess Im just carzy, hihi.

Angel