My so called life...
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2002-08-28 07:09:58 (UTC)

God help me

Mood - I feel like an endless empty void
Listing - Sarah Brightman - Delivery me

I didn't goto work today because, well..., because I hate
it there. Its a mindless job that I could teach to a
brainless monkey with no arms and confidence disorder.

I looked at myself today and realized that I live my life
in fear. I'm afraid of failure, afraid of being alone,
afraid that one day I'll realize all the days of my life
are over and I have nothing to show for it. For the past 3
years, I have done absolutly nothing with my life. Yah, I
graduated from college, found a job but other than that, I
haven't improved myself, I've done jack shit. If anything,
the only thing I have done is gained about 25 pounds and
learned to drink hard liquor. I do my job half assed and
wouldn't be surprised if I went into work and was told to
pack up my stuff. Fuck that job. I don't like working

I have no direction. What the fuck am I doing with my
life? I wish I had someone, anyone that could point me
into a direction. I don't even care if it's the wrong
direction, I just don't want to be in the same damn point
in my life forever. I need a friend that I can speak to
about anything, someone that will listen to my problems,
my life crisis and tell me it will be okay. Someone that
will calm my nerves when I'm about to crawl out of my

I feel so alone. I feel that not even God will listen. I
think my greatest fears have been realized. I think I'm
starting to lose it all. I don't like who I've become and
I don't know how to fix it. I think I need some help. I
don't know how to do this on my own. God help me please.

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