hotasshunnie69

*~?~* Amy's Journal *~?~*
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2002-08-28 04:10:44 (UTC)

Why R we here?¿?...really.....

Well hey to all the pple...I have choosen to let read this
one...I switched cause too many other pple knew about my
last one....anyways I guess its time to start writing my
usual fucked up §hit 4 u...

Well I guess if any of you have read "Last Entry" in my old
journal,u know that me and Dave are 2gether again,and I am
happy as hell about it.And last nite was one of the best
nites of my life.I got like 2 hours of sleep,and I had to
work 2day @ 9.But does it really bother me no,I'll just
sleep in 2morrow...LoL...!¡!But as I sit here 2nite,and
think back to last nite,I really wonder if it was all worth
the pain and hurt,and bullshit I had to go threw to get
him.Sure I say I had one of the best nites of my life,but
really was it.I wounder y I go threw so much to get
something.When really I know I had plenty of chances to go
out with guys I didn't even have to go threw shit for.How
do I know one of these guys,couldn't do the same thing for
me?¿?...see I don't know,cause I never gave them a
chance,cause I only had 1 person on my mind.I know I hurt
pple,but I am so use to hurting pple it don't bother me
anymore.Yeah I know most of u are probably sitting there
thinking what a cold heartless bitch,but really your
rite,thats what I am...but I have been hurt,lied
too,played,used,and screwed over so many times,I don't care
anymore.And now I left sitting here wondering is Dave
really what I want,or he sumthin I used to get back @ Bran
4 everything he is has done to me.I sit here crying
thinking that I think that,cause I love Dave so much,but
really is that how me and him all started,revenge towards
sumone?¿?See well thats what I have been thinking about all
day....I know to most of u it don't even make any sense,but
to pple who know whats realy going on,it will make sense
when you think about,but most of u are used to me not
making sense when I write on here...LoL...But Grrr...I just
to think of him as one I used to get revenge....but turned
into more,and I wonder since I might have used him as
revenge,if I could have avoided all this pain,hurt,and shit
I had to go there to get him....

but...when I got home 2day I started reading this new book
I am reading....its all about how we got on earth,and what
we are here for...basicly its how how we are spirits,and we
come to earth with a "blueprint" for our "stay here" and
once we have completed this "blueprint" we cross back over
to the other side. And our "blueprint" is we have one gaol
when we come here,and the blue print outlines the
steps,process,and stuff we have to go threw to achieve that
goal...and this goal is supposed to be sumthin that will
help everyone out in the future...so is all this
hurt,pain,and shit I have to go threw part of
my "blueprint".I dunno I am just going on on on on
on...about sumthin that probably nobody has read,and will
understand...but do I believe all this we are spirits with
blueprints stuff...at the moment yes....because rite now
its the only thing I can use to explain y I had to go threw
what I did to get Dave to myself,and to anyone that
understand what I am saying...

anyways...I am tired.....think I am just gonna chat for a
while then go to bed,cause Dave is already there....ttyl...

Amy

o yeah...and nobody get me wrong,and Dave when u read this
I am sorry,don't be worried...you know I am how I am
question everything that happens to me...because well
everything that has happend to me in the past.I luv him
very much,and I wouldn't give him up for the world,he means
everything to me.


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