cinnapunk

cinnapunk
2002-08-28 01:23:45 (UTC)

What I want most...

Yeah, so that would be love. Isn't that what we all want?
Basic human need I think, we want acceptance, that's why
there's so many sheep out there. We want friends,
boyfriends, girlfriends, we want to live up to other
people's expectations, make our parents and other people
all proud of us. It's all because we want people to love
us. That's what it all boils down to. And I'm no
different, I want more, I want to be popular, and have nice
things, and be smart, and have more money, but that's just
because I don't want people to think I'm a failure. And if
I am, then why would they like me? Let alone love me. But
do I really want someone to love me for being someone
else? No. I want it to be because I'm me, no pretending.
I've done that before, most of my life. I like being in a
place where nobody judges me and I can be myself all the
time. But I wonder if it will ever stop bothering me that
not everyone is going to like me. I like me, but somehow
that's just not enough. Acceptance from other people...it
shouldn't matter so much. I have a lot of friends, and a
great family, but why do I need strangers to care at all?
Yet I do, everyone does. When I find someone who really
doesn't give a damn, I'm gonna ask them for some lessons.
Until then I'm just gonna try not to be a sheep, doing the
right thing at the right time to please everyone who
doesn't care enough to know the real me anyways.