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2002-08-28 00:38:40 (UTC)

Getting What I want 8262

So last time on "As My World Turns" I was really into this
guy that I worked with. Well we hung out, and one thing led
to another and I lost my virginity to him. Which was fine
and dandy. I was okay with that. But it hurt me a lot
because well I was suposed to move to Georgia. So it didn't
make any sense to start up a relationship with anybody.
There was this major part of me that felt that going to
Georgia would solve all the problems that I had. More like
running away from my problems. Then the other part of me
was saying "What if"? So like the idiot in all the romantic
comedys, I followed my heart. Hahaha!!! In the movies, they
always work out. In real life, forget it. I had to spend 16
hours with him after he told me that he didn't want to be
with anybody because he just got out of a relationship and
he was going away to school...and all the other good stuff
that everybody loves to hear. I still had to suck to the
decision that I made to stay in NY. So we had a long talk,
and he apologized for hurting me and he would do anything
to take back...and all that other pacifiying stuff that men
say to make you feel better. But it wasn't making me feel
anybetter. Rather than feel sorry for myself. I geared up
for going back to community college. I focused on what I
needed to be happy. And that was becoming a paralegal. So I
changed my major, lost half my credits and began thinking
about other things. And my heart stopped aching faster than
I thought it would. We still did the friend thing, but
there was a part of me that was still mad at him. And I had
every right to be. He knew how I felt, and he knew how he
felt, and he should have said something to me. But I felt
that forgiveness is what was needed. So we made plans to
hang out, but fate wouldn't let us. Until last night. I had
beeped him, but I swear his beeper don't like me because it
rarely let's any of the beeps that I do go through. I got
bold and went over his house. I was so scared that his
father would kick me out or his mother would call me a
dirty whore(it was 10:30 at night). I said to myself, just
go over there, and where's there's a will....yada yada
yada...he just happened to be passing by their apartment
window, so I knocked really softly. And he heard me. So we
did end up hanging out that night. Well my parents went on
a cruise for a week and my little brother was staying at a
friends house, so I had the whole house to myself. Well
after having a very eventful evening(another topic), we
went back to my house and watched "How High"(good movie).
So I had no intention of doing anything. I wanted to watch
the movie, and then send him on his merry way. Yeah like
that would ever happen. So when I was ready to take him
home, he got frisky. And one thing led to another and we
were back to the same situtation that we were before.
However this time...I got smart and I asked for the rules
before I played the game. There's nothing better than being
asked out while you are topless on your old bed.

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