sweetheart

Growing Up
2002-08-27 07:31:05 (UTC)

Love hurts

Hey there,
Today was a pretty bad day. One of my dad's co-workers was
found at work... a 2000 lbs skid fell on his chest and he
died. It's so sad, poor family... When you think about it,
it could have been my dad. He's pretty upset right now, and
his temper is kinda bad. Plus I talked to Shawn... After
spending all this fucking time telling him I'd appreciate
it if he made an effort to talk to me, he still hasn't. I
laid my heart on the line for him, but every time he makes
a promise, and then breaks it, I feel as though my heart
has been ripped out of my chest and stomped on. Even after
that I still hold on. Even after I tell him that I'm not
going to call him until he calls me, guess what I do the
very next day. I call him! I feel like a dog on a leash...
I hate feeling like that. I don't want to be a fucking dog,
I want to be free of him. He said he'd call me tomorrow at
6pm, and if he doesn't... then that's the end of it. I'm
dead serious. He's a good friend, but he's starting to take
advantage of the fact that I have feelings for him and THAT
I will NOT handle. I hate him for doing this to me, but on
the other hand, I love him... what is wrong with me??




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