starry nite

my own world
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2002-08-27 03:31:36 (UTC)

no more doctors appointments

well travis said that mom said i wasnt really bipolar. i
hate when she says stupid shit like that, i mean the doctor
said i was but thats irrelevant...even if the doctor was
wrong(which i dont think she is) my mom has no reason to
say im not. she only says that because she thinks that i
make everything up. its so stupid. she thinks that all my
problems are just for attention and the thing is thats not
how it is. she doesnt even know my problems. she doesnt
know im suicidal or used to cut or anything else. i wouldnt
tell her any of those things because i know she would think
i was saying them for attention. well today she said i had
a doctors appointment tomarrow and i said i wasnt going
anymore. i am not going to go to her for help when my mom
thinks im just making it up. i will have to work through
things on my own now i guess, the doctor didnt help now
anyway....because i didnt tell her the whole truth of how i
was feeling and how depressed i get. but when they would
try different meds, one helped...til it screwed up my blood
cell count and i had to be taken off it. well there are
probably others out there that would have helped but thats
not an option to me, not right now anyway.


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