My Reality
Ad 2:
2002-08-26 23:56:28 (UTC)

Back to school and loving it?

NO....guess what i moved in yesterday and it sucks, i dont
like it, i dont want to be here and everything feels out of
place, my tail feathers have been ruffled and i dont think
that i can correct this issue. The only thing that is
keeping me sane right now is is Pratic. He is really
sweet, the most amazing guy you could ever get to know, has
a lot to offer me, and i think i am going to do this. i
think that he makes me happy i havent dated in a while and
i know that there is no way that he could hurt me, he
really likes me and he really tries to make me happy, he
would do anything for me and i kinda like the idea that
there is a guy out there who isnt afraid to show me how he
feels, who isnt going to ditch me just bc we live a bit
away from each other, who isnt going to ditch me just bc he
would have to work along with me to make this thing work,
he wouldnt just disappear when things got difficult, he
sticks around and tries to figure out what to do, and he
wants this more than anything.
i dont know how to explain what i feel for him. i am
attracted to him but not in that lustful passionate romance
novel, its more like a complete comfort, its like i could
hang out with him for hours, its like i could just hold him
and have him close. It isnt animal magnetism its more like
a total calmness. he gives me the giggles and makes me
feel important, and everyone needs that feeling. i dont
know what i am doing or why i am doing it but i do know
that i like it. its been so long since ive been in a real
relationship and been saught after like this its nice to
have someone who makes you feel better, and though yes its
nice thats not the only reason i like being with him. i
feel this urge to take care of him bc he has such a kind
heart i just want things to go right for him.
and no, i am not exactly over josh and yeah i still think about
preston, but it feels like neither of them do the same for me, and
dont i deserve that though?...i really think that i should have
someone in my life who looks after me and who tries to make me happy
and who cant resist the thought of me, i mean isnt that a good
thing?...i think it is, and i also think that though it still hurts
to think that i wasnt enough to get josh to want me, i know that he
was a jumping off point, thought i would have loved to be with him, i
cant, but he has made me the person that i am today, and the person
that i am today is getting me the attention of one of the sweetest
guys i have ever met!