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2002-08-26 12:08:06 (UTC)

peak of osciallation

i fear that the theory is coming true. ive been feeling
relatively ok for the past month or so. i guess i should
be enjoying it. but its gonna crash. the better i feel,
the harder im gonna fall. i can sense it. a wave of
depression is gonna fall on me again. according to my
osciallation theory, it should be the worse ever. probably
so. school is fast approaching, the root of most of my
misery. pressure everywhere, people everywhere, and the
most oppurtunity for guilt and regret. it will not be
happy times. mercury? no. i don't think she'll ever
come. even if she does, it will be a long time before i
can hurl my oscillations into such a high swing. im still
not quite sure on the nature of my oscillations, the
origins of them could be religious, from my subconscious,
fate itself, or what. i doubt that my subcounscious could
plan my oscialltion to collapse right as school started. i
didn't know it thought on its own, or it could be
coincidince, or fate. anyway. i dunno, i still gotta do
summer reading. ive been tring to stay up all night so i
can shift my sleeping pattern back to normal the next
night, but i keep falling asleep. i blame my dyslexia.
when i wanna go to sleep, i can't. anyway, i don't really
feel like writing anymore

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