Elise

my courage
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2002-08-26 02:59:27 (UTC)

oh help

im going to a cjrc labor day party next saturday. im
terrified. what in the world am i afraid of? oh my god help
me PLEASE. i want to go back SO BADLY. im going to do
everything i can to make that party an enjoyable experience
for myself. most akwardness was caused by me anyway. if
they don't want to talk with me, that's their fault then.
at least i'll have tried. remember... NO REGRETS! which
chair will i be sitting in at the end of the day? also,
tomorrow is meet the fall teams day. i hope mike & andy
and/or julie are there. if they are, I WILL MAKE
MYSELF TALK TO THEM.

phew.

on another sad note, i found that i basically cannot trust
anyof my siblings at all anymore, except for marcus, & soon
that wont be true. sigh. i tried to use OTFD, but arianne
simply denied it & turned the blame onto me for something
else. I probably should keep myself in integrity, but it
is so hard sometimes, b/c it feels like my shole family is
against me & i feel cheated. i really need to lose this
materialistic attitude that i have. i recently discovered
that KY does have icing & rave. lol.

well - off to a new week, a new day, & a new & DIFFERENT
start!! i'm going to TALK to ppl, even if i have nothing to
say. especially KATE, & ellen, & megan. i know that i can
be big. yea BIGNESS!!


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