Swackprincess03

My Heart and Soul....
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2002-08-26 02:27:02 (UTC)

Sad and confused.....

Hi! I don't know where to start. I guess the biggest
headache in my life is the whole college/high school thing.
Yea, all my friends, and everyone my age is going away to
school. But I don't really want to just up and leave without
Senior year, and a chance to tie up loose ends and say
goodbye. And I don't really want to go to TC3, and make
friends, then have to transfer out to a University. And then
there would be the whole akwardness at the University of not
really a freshman, but not really a Sophomore. And the
biggest part is the money. With no scholarships and no
financial aid, it's too expensive for my parents to afford
on top of my sisters tuition, and there is no way I can
afford it. And I'd be working in all my spare time just to
afford a house and my car insurance. So...I guess the best
thing is for me to just stay at SS for the year. My mom and
I talked about it (you know those mother-daughter
heart-to-hearts that i have with my mom) and we both agree
that what is meant to be will be. So, there is no use
trying to make something happen when it isn't meant to happen.

So now, I guess I will make the best of my senior year.
Which I admitt is going to be hard. I am really gonne miss
all my friends. I sat and talked with Kris for a couple
hours last week. It was so great, but it made me realize how
much we;ve grown apart, even though we swore we wouldn't let
that happen ("I'll never let go jack") And I miss my Ams SO
much. I've had her with me ever since first grade. I hate
the thought of facing the most important year of my life
without her there with me. And Gabs is gonna be off at
college. Which sucks, cause we live far enough apart that we
only see each other once in a while.

But when I get done with the woe is me routine, I look at
what I have here. I've got a simple course load, so I can
focus all my energy on my two independent study languages.
Which is great for me. And I plan to spend EVERY weekend
with my buddies cheering for my bestest friends Scotty and
Dj on the football team! And there's all that "fun senior
year stuff to look forward to I suppose. I have learned a
lot in the past couple years. And a huge part of that is
taking what you have and making the best of it. I've got 4
offers from Division I Univeristies sitting in front of me,
and tons of opportuinities for once-in-a-lifetime
experiences because of my language background. So, I'm going
to focus my year on shaping myself into the person I want to
be...and figuring out how I want to spend the rest of my life.

Hahahaha, I guess I soud all philosophical..but who gives a
damn, right?!?! thats me, thats how I feel right now! If you
dont like it, deal with it!!!!!!!


Ill try to keep up with writing, I love ya!!!

**BIG KISS**

~*~jenny*~*


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