Lost and Searching
2002-08-25 03:02:38 (UTC)

Tired of the Damn Scary Dreams

the last couple of days i have been having to take naps in
the afternoon, well from spending the nights at justins,
and then the heat here in kansas isn't helping much.....but
just when i get to sleep the damn same dream keeps haunting

my dad knows that i have been taking a nap, so he comes in
the house and checks up on me, just to make sure that i am
still breathing i think....

but in my dream i am still awake and i am freaking sicker
than i have been before, and i know i am on the verge of
dying but not sure when....but i am in my room, quite
comfortable, i don't remember actually moving, but annette
is always there cleaning my room, and asking where stuff
goes, and there are chairs around my bed, and friends come
and visit me...but i am not sure why they are there, its
like everyone is in on a secret, and no one is telling
me...but then one afternoon my dad comes and sits with
me...all i recall is telling him that i am a little sleepy
and then i turn over and go to sleep but that would be the
last time i be alive, b/c in my dream i died in my sleep,
it was so real, and i am hating these dreams.....

well its late, and i miss justin alot......and i am going
to sleep......

am supposed to hear from the dr on monday about some
machine that might help me out