lilplayette25

Read On
2001-07-16 15:58:54 (UTC)

July 16, 2001

Hey all. Well, I have a big problem now. Everyone was
tryin to hook me and Gabe up but not it's all fucked up.
Everyone is pissed at me cuz I said some stuff after what
happened on Wednesday. But they don't understand. I
didn't mean anything I said. I have this really big
problem with getting too deep into relationships. It's
like I'm afraid to commit or something and I will find any
excuse possible to either get them to not like me anymore
or to not like them. Well, what I did this time was really
rude and I feel so bad about it. I mean, I am really
starting to like Gabe now but I don't think that it's gonna
happen cuz there's no way he could forgive me. But if he
does it will be a miracle if anything else comes of it. I
mean if we just wind up being friends I will be happy
because I know how it is to be treated like I treated him
and I know how it feels so it's hard to "forgive and
forget." Anyway, Gabe, if you are reading this, I'm really
sorry for what I said. I don't know if you can understand
what I'm saying about this whole situation or not, but if
not I'll be able to explain it better when we talk-and we
do need to talk. I don't care about how all your friends
were bitchin me out because I deserved it. I needed
someone to say something to me so that I will stop trying
to find excuses to push people away all the time. Anyway,
I'm gonna go now. Hope this diary is getting interesting
to some of you.
~Nicole




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