Penny 4 your thoughts......
I'm glad that I've found this page. I'm always one who
enjoys writing down my thoughts. However, I'm always afraid
of them to be found by others in the household. If you
can't ever be completely honest on paper then why bother.
Well,here goes nothing. Shawn is leaving this week or so he
says. He's going to DC. He says that he needs a break from
the baby. I have mixed emotions about him leaving. I'm
afraid that he'll go to see her. i know that they say
they're just friends but I still can't seem to buy it 100%.
I can't believe that I subjected myself to stay at her
house. What in the hell was I thinking? I'm embarrassed to
tell anyone. Am I that much in love with him that I'll play
myself like that? I can't be that desperate, can I? I
called her and told her to cheer him up and that she did.
He tells her things that he doesnt tell me and that pisses
me off. He just opens up to her and tells her practically
everything. I have to beat it out of him in order for him
to share things with me. It didn't used to be like that. We
used to just sit in bed and talk and talk for hours. What
happened? I know what happened. A BABY! No, I can't even
blame things on the baby. Things were kinda fucked up prior
to his arrival. What to do about marriage? I want to but
then again I don't want to. I can't explain it. Maybe in