CGstef

CG Stef
2002-08-23 00:45:58 (UTC)

Lonely and Never good enough

Yea.. I feel kind of lonely. I haven't had a boyfriend in a
while, and it's probably teenage hormones that make me feel
like everyone around me is finding boyfriends to love and
hug and kiss.. *sigh* I haven't had that in a while.
Well I won't spend much time on that.
Today my sister picked me up and I drove to volleyball
practice.. it's funny that I need a ride from her, but I'm
the one that drives, lol. Practice kind of sucked.
Afterwards I again felt like I will never be a part of
coach's favorite group. I never say aloud, but I KNOW she
has favorites. Amanda Peck and Lindsey Roesner are
practically her two kids! She loves them girls, and they
are good people, but I want so much to be talked about like
they are. She gives great reports about them all the time.
I just don't think I'll ever be good enough for her, but
who knows. Maybe she says stuff when I'm not around. I
doubt it's as good as them though. This all sounds like
jealously. I think it all just goes back to the Brittney
thing. I think she ruined my reputation and that is that.
It's like sometimes I feel good, but so many other times I
feel like I am the one being stared at when something bad
is going on. Oh well...
Next topic:
My sister has an engagement ring. Rob bought her another
one. You see, I never got into this subject yet, and I
still don't fee like it... but he gave her the ring once
before and they broke it off. Afterwards he hit her, but
they are still together. So now he bought her a ring and I
guess he's going to propose sometime soon. I kind of want
them to get married just because I want a final answer and
I've always dreamed of being an aunt and having a little
sibling in the family. Pleh.. but the whole thing
about "Can you keep a secret" and the fact that I'm not
aloud to tell my parents that my sister is uhhh almost
engaged again.. well... pleh I don't know... it all just
seems screwed up to me.. but oh well...
I GOT INSURANCE!!! On a happier note, I finally have
licensed insurance for my car :-) Now I can take little
trips to CVS, gas station, stores... and hopefully by
December I'll be driving to school.. .well I'm dehydrated
and exausted so... G'nite




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